if i push that lamp hard enough, it will fall over. who am i? am i a name? i am just a little creature wandering around on a planet with not much idea of what i'm doing - like all the other creatures - but with a little more self-righteousness than most of them. that may or may not be what has led me here.

i wear a coat because i am cold. what is cold? it's a sensation; the lack of heat. cold - or the lack of heat - has a lot of control over my level of comfort. comfort? feeling good. feeling? good? good is simply something that i will naturally move towards, nothing more. why? evolution, i guess; something to do with biology.

i feel - what is that? i? feel? i am just a block of matter colliding with other matter - nothing more, nothing less. then how can i feel? what is feeling, anyway? it's a part of the dreamworld, perhaps. i don't know. feeling is...futile! hah! why do i feel things? things! so feeling involves me (whatever that is) and things. you can usually predict how a human will act based on how it is feeling.

so i'm going to feed myself into the purifying digestive fires piece by piece. it's going to be hard and i'm going to feel lots of 'things.' but when i'm done, i will be free. free from what? free of what? ignorance. lies. i will detach from the dreamworld, where i have to do things and i need to do things; i will wake up. i'll be done with it. i will wake the fuck up. unlike all these other poor bastards who think they've already grown up. These poor children that consider themselves adults. i'm one, too.

i guess the next question is or may as well be - why am i here? where is here? the point at which my body resides in the physical universe? i - my ego - am not really here. actually, maybe i am because my physical actions right now are definitely ego-based.

why don't i just kill myself and be done with the whole damned thing? of course, why not just live and see what happens? because i don't care; it won't matter after i'm dead! but i'm not dead now, so maybe i do care. what does care mean? to form attachment? what is attachment? it's a bonding between the ego and another thing. another false thing, of course. and since i and my ego are one and the same, i am forming the bonds. why? i guess i should be detaching from everything in this dream state. the whole point of this is to systematically kill my ego - my self. so...i need to look at the things i realize as true and recognize them as false. FALSE, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

write the truth. this table is black and has four legs. so it could be said that this black table possesses four legs. but how is that possible? how can anything posses anything else? we're all just moving around in a big cage. the only possession that anyone or anything has over anyone or anything else is that which is allowed them by the person or thing being possessed and by all other persons or things. therefore, possession does not exist.